Corny Blue
Its been rather hot in the upper mid-west, at least by local standards. To me, the weather is nice, partly because its warm — finally — and also because, with each passing day, comes the realization we’re one day closer to winter. For a Florida native the notion of a frigid Wisconsin winter is chilling to say the least. Curiously, I wouldn’t mind winters in Wisconsin so much if they just weren’t so long.Â
For someone who grew up in Florida the extreme cold is challenging enough but then for this same cold to last for roughly six months is almost more than I can bear. By the time February arrives I am often struggling emotionally; a sort of cabin fever you might say. I know it has a lot to do with what you’ve grown accustomed to but, it’s still tough to handle at times. Relative norms aside, the bottom line is: I am homesick.
Growing up in North East Florida — Jacksonville — I often wished I lived some place else. There were many times the day-in day-out routine became a type of drudgery and I envisioned other places as being somehow different, better. Now, having lived in SW Wisconsin for six years I have come to miss that “River City”. Yes, this place which often seemed a prison, now is a distant memory and I yearn for its familiar sights, smells, and sounds. I miss the eclectic mix of accents, nationalities, and cultures. I suppose most of all I miss my family members, the majority of whom still live in North Florida; and, I miss living in the South.
No place I chose to live could be perfect and I don’t expect Wisconsin to be but, there’s a disconnect for me that’s been difficult to overcome. The countryside surrounding this town I now live in is quite beautiful. I appreciate the culture, as a whole, and there is a certain charm to much of the area. Despite all these things there’s just something missing: its not home.
If I had the choice to live wherever I wished, money not being an object, I’m not sure I’d go back to live in Jacksonville. At the same time, I can almost certainly say I wouldn’t wish to live here either. My wife and I have talked about moving outside the state of Wisconsin, hopefully within a few years. There are several places we feel would be an ideal fit but right now it seems to matter little: I am homesick.
Its been three years now since I have been able to travel home, see my family, smell the salty ocean air, or just sit outside on the porch enjoying the Florida’s tropical warmth. I love my wife and family and am very thankful to have them yet this yearning within my spirit will not be satiated. It gnaws at me despite the joys of each individual day. The reality is we cannot afford to travel to Florida anytime soon. No matter how much I wish it to happen it will not, can not, until our financial situation improves.
So, for now, I carry on with my daily duties relishing the beautiful details along the way. One such ‘detail’ occured this morning. I had an early appointment and was just getting ready to leave the house when I heard a small voice. It was my four year old son Elijah. Just waking from his dream filled slumber he rolled to his side seeing me preparing to leave. Still rubbing the sleep from his little eyes he smiled at me, and, with all the love his heart could muster so early in the morning said; “good morning my gaggy” He never has pronounced daddy too well but in this moment it really didn’t matter.
Now, whenever I’m feeling corny blue, and homesick I’ll try thinking of that precious smile and the love echoed from my son’s lips. In those simple words I think, though homesick, it’ll be ok.
[tags] Corny, Blue, Wisconsin, Florida, Jacksonville, South, Homesick [/tags]Â
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